I think this is the part where I am supposed to tell why I am creating this blog. Here is the scoop, after a long battle of infertility, fertility drugs, dashed hopes of motherhood etc,
I had a baby. She.is.amazing.
After I had Noelle I realized that this whole motherhood thing is hard. Really hard. I don't mean math class hard, running your first 5k hard or any of that. I mean hard in a different way, a way that challenges who you think you are as a person. I thought I had it together (I don't), I thought I knew how to do it (I don't), and so many other preconceived notions. Let me tell you the first mistake of motherhood is preconceived notions. I admit I was guilty and had tons of ideas about the things I would do and wouldn't do. WRONG. Until you are in the situation you don't have a clue. Every pregnancy, labor, delivery and child is different. What you thought might happen probably won't and it's very possible that your worst fear could happen.
My worst fear turned up in the way of the c-section from Hades. Honestly, I would like to smack the next person who says "Oh, it's a routine procedure", routine my butt. There is nothing "routine" about having your abdomen sliced open layer upon layer, then your organs being pulled out of your body and laying beside you while they take your baby out. Just saying, nothing routine about that. What proceeded from there is all one really bad dream. While I was in the hospital my incision opened up, no big deal I was told, just a hematoma. Then about a week and a half after delivery my incision opened up again but FOR REAL this time. This bad boy opened up in two spots about 5 inches deep into my abdomen. I had a wound vac installed (MIRACLE WORKER) and a home health nurse (Magnificent Gerry) would come three times a week to extract the wound vac from my core and put a new part in. This was unbelievably painful and taking pain pills became nearly impossible because of breastfeeding. HOWEVER, about three weeks later I was on the road to recovery and getting my life back. THANKFULLY, I had great friends and family who wanted to help me. You don't realize how much you are going to need others until your "preconceived notions" comes back to bite you in the butt!
